


Knock, Knock

by ami_ven



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Community: 100_tales, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 17:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ami_ven/pseuds/ami_ven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sir, don't you have anything better to do?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knock, Knock

**Author's Note:**

> written for LJ community "100_tales" prompt #018 "orange"

Sam was just finishing up her analysis of the MALP data from their latest mission when her phone rang.

"Carter," she answered.

" _Knock, knock_ ," said a familiar voice.

"Sir, don't you have anything better to do?"

" _No_ ," Jack replied, which usually meant he had a large stack of memos he was avoiding.

Sam smiled. "Don't you have anyone else to annoy?"

" _Is that any way to speak to your commanding officer?_ "

"It is when he calls you up with knock, knock jokes."

" _T is kel-no-reeming and Danny keeps hanging up on me._ "

"I can't imagine why, sir," Sam deadpanned.

" _Well?_ " Jack prompted.

The data from the MALP needed time to compile, and there really wasn't anything she had pressing in the next little while... "Who's there, sir?"

" _Canoe._ "

"Canoe who?"

" _Canoe come out and play?_ "

"Not today, sir," she replied, managing to keep her voice even.

Jack let out a snort of surprised laughter and she grinned. " _Uh oh. Hammond just sent me a memo about not reading my memos._ "

"How do you know, if you never read your memos?"

" _He sent Walter to read it to me,_ " he admitted. " _Kinda like a memo-gram, which is— Yes, yes, I got it, Walter. Sorry, duty calls.. Bye, Carter._ "

Half an hour later, her phone rang again.

"Carter."

" _Knock, knock._ "

Sam grinned. "Who's there, sir?"

" _Boo._ "

"Boo who?"

" _No need to cry, Carter, I got all of my memos read._ "

"All of them?" she repeated. "You read them?"

" _I... skimmed them,_ " Jack hedged, and she smiled. " _I read the important ones._ "

"Of course, sir." Behind her, something beeped cheerfully. "Sir, my analysis—"

" _Go, Carter. Bye._ "

Twenty minutes later, her phone rang again.

"Carter."

" _Knock, knock._ "

Sam rolled her eyes, because he couldn't see her. "Who's there?"

" _Interrupting cow._ "

That was a new one. "Interrupting cow wh—"

" _Moo!_ "

"Of course," Sam snorted, rolling her eyes again. "How could I not have seen that coming?"

" _Superior tactical planning, Carter,_ " said Jack.

Suddenly, the emergency alarm blared. 

"Unscheduled wormhole, sir," said Sam.

" _Meet you up top, Major._ "

Two hours and one false alarm later, Sam's phone rang again.

"Carter."

" _Knock, knock._ "

Sam grinned despite herself. "Who's there?"

" _Yodelahi._ "

"Yodelahi who?"

" _Gee, Carter, I didn't know you could yodel._ "

Sam laughed. "Sir, we really do need to get some work done."

" _All right, Carter. But I'll leave you to explain it to the medics when they find me dead and buried under a pile of reports._ "

"I don't think anyone's ever died as a direct result of paperwork, sir."

" _There's a first time for everything. Wish me luck, Carter._ "

"I'll have the infirmary on standby, sir."

Forty-five minutes later, Sam picked up her phone.

" _O'Neill._ "

"Knock, knock."

She could hear the grin in his voice, even over the phone. " _Who's there?_ "

"Banana."

" _Banana who?_ "

"Knock, knock."

" _Who's there?_ "

"Banana."

" _Banana who?_ "

"Knock, knock."

" _Who's there?_ "

"Orange."

There was a pause. " _Orange who?_ "

"Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'?"

Jack laughed. " _Thanks, Carter._ "

"Anytime."

THE END


End file.
